EVERY SETBACK IS A SET UP FOR A COMEBACK
Alfie Cain has just returned from Edinburgh, where he'd hosted his own show 'Dropped' at Hibs' Easter Road Stadium over the Fringe Festival. Described as 'staggeringly powerful', Alfie shows us the inside realities of a young boy in singular pursuit of professional footballing stardom.
Alfie's journey from boyhood academies (aged just 6yrs) to first team football shines a light on the sacrifices he and every family makes, coupled with the ever-present pressures that followed him and the institutional shortcomings of a system designed to win at all costs.
Alfie's journey from boyhood academies (aged just 6yrs) to first team football shines a light on the sacrifices he and every family makes, coupled with the ever-present pressures that followed him and the institutional shortcomings of a system designed to win at all costs.
His performance "delivered with a ferocious might" was widely acclaimed at the Fringe festival this August and Tilda Swinton was among many who stopped by to witness 'Dropped', written and performed by Alfie Cain. Alfie says that plans to bring 'Dropped' to our screens are well under way, with another in-person performance due before Christmas, so watch this space. I for one will be attending the next performance.
I sat down with Alfie at his West London home to talk about the experiences that he tackled while in the custody of institutional football and the impact these had on his mental health, education, relationships and identity.
MF: Tell me about your day-to-day.
AC: Well I grew up in a family of fruiterers and after years spent at our stall on Portobello market, my Dad and I now have a shop on Lonsdale Road in Queens Park. I split shifts with him daily and that works well, so I essentially have half the day to do everything else that I want to do. We're both up at 1:30am to do the fruit run but am back in my bed by 4am, then I'll sleep 'til 10am, do the gym until 11am and then I rotate with my Dad.
'Dropped' went down really well at The Fringe festival and I'm really excited to turn this into a screenplay, so that's a priority. I just read Al Pacino's book "Sonny Boy" and man he worked hard! ...in his 20's he was doing every bit of acting he could. That's really inspired me to keep myself busy. It's too easy to wait around waiting for things that you think are 'good' enough for you.
REAL thought: motivation rarely appears without activation. It is only by doing and creating momentum that motivation occurs. It is then that we see what we've done and we know we can do more. We can and we must.
Alfie grew up in a 'true blue' household supporting Chelsea, with regular outings to Stamford Bridge. At the age of six Chelsea found Alfie and he was conscripted into their academy.
Over one summer at the age of nine, Alfie was undergoing a club medical when Chelsea doctors found a murmur in Alfie's heart. Later diagnosed as subaortic stenosis, this condition meant Chelsea's interest waned. They referred him to Harley Street where the consultant said "No club is gonna want a kid with a dodgy heart" - dream over. A young boy wasn't sure he understood what he was being told. Football was all he cared about and he felt well enough to play.
A muscular ridge was growing across Alfie's aortic valve and this manifested as feeling out of breath. He thought he simply needed to get fitter. Luckily Harley Street had uncovered this life-threatening condition before it killed him, but this wasn't to be the end for Alfie. Mr. Cain senior had come to know the head of the British heart foundation as one of his better customers on Portobello and they had discussed Alfie's diagnosis. Alfie underwent surgery to alter the course of his future. It was a success.
Back to football as soon as he physically could, he did manage to play a season with Chelsea but at the end of the season Chelsea let him go. Determined to resuscitate his dream of playing professional football Alfie turned to QPR. Aged 12 now, he chose another West London club where he had friends in the academy. When the next season came to an end, more disappointment followed. He was told that although he's a great player, he's just "not for us". Aged only 13 It was hard to make sense of being 'great' and having friends at the club, but being told that he still wasn't wanted.
Alfie would not let football go. He ended up with a scholarship at the Barnet academy, meaning he left school and was a fully contracted footballing cadet, playing for a professional future.
The pressures on a young man were dialled up. Alfie had talent and he also had character. He fitted in on the pitch with his abilities and he was well liked within his team, but in spite of all his talents, drive and commitment, the coach has the final say.
By this stage of the professional football funnel, everyone is incredibly talented and everyone is committed, but can your attitude convince the coaches that you have what it takes under intense scrutiny. This leaves a lot of power in the hands of one man, to determine the future of a burgeoning squad of youngsters who've committed their lives to the cause. Alfie had left school to pursue this dream.
An early incident of Alfie juggling the ball while his coach was broadcasting a message to the team led to a vociferous reaction and a fractious relationship moving forwards.
Attitude is what the coach cited again and again, as he singled Alfie out from the touchline, goading him in a powerful voice. A young man in such an acute state of arousal that a high-level match demands, with the pressures to succeed while being shouted at will either wilt or roar back. Our protagonist had too much character to wilt.
Attitude is what the coach cited again and again, as he singled Alfie out from the touchline, goading him in a powerful voice. A young man in such an acute state of arousal that a high-level match demands, with the pressures to succeed while being shouted at will either wilt or roar back. Our protagonist had too much character to wilt.
Barnet would not let Alfie out of his contract, but did not select Alfie to play for the first-team and continued to explain that he needed to convince them that he had what it takes to play for his future. Aged 19 Alfie finally wriggled free of his contract and began life outside of football. The next two years were tough.
MF: How does exercise help you physically as well as mentally?
AC: It gives me energy and it makes me feel good about myself. I tap into a very disciplined frame of mind by doing my physical routine. It makes me want to be more healthy outside of the gym. So I eat well - fruit obvs, sleep well, drink less and look after myself.
I love ending my gym regime with an ice bath. That physical hardship leaves me with a mindset that I can overcome anything.
I'm not hitting it as hard as I used to and afterall I fought last November, so since then I'm happy going out at the weekend and not letting exercise consume me.
MF: You won I assume?
AC: Yeah. It was a KO in the end.
MF: Great result.
AC: Throughout my twenties I sparred a lot, I've had 9 amateur fights in my life and I've loved boxing from a young age, but I just hadn't fought in a very long time. It was terrific!
Aged 19 Alfie lost his rudder. Lacking a purpose and having been rejected by what he loved the most he was angry. He began drinking, which led to a regretful incident. During the two years that he was on-bail Alfie picked up boxing again, in a meaningful way. Boxing brought him back into the club atmosphere of "we're all in this together" and it brought him to heel. Football had nearly broken Alfie but he hadn't let it.
During times of reflection, Alfie remembered positive acclaim for his role in "West Side Story" aged eight. He had enjoyed acting, his father had encouraged it and Alfie often found himself participating in the Portobello Christmas pantomime. Aged 21yrs old Alfie went to the National youth theatre to audition. Alfie chose a scene from the Tempest featuring Caliban and Prospero - drawing parallels with the treachery that befell Caliban, having been a loyal servant to the cause and been promised the world. Needless to say he delivered a visceral performance and the audition was a great success.
After a successful summer with the National Youth theatre, Covid hit and the only school that would continue to operate in-person training was LAMDA. Initial hesitation over such a rigid training process, the 3year commitment and the super competitive nature of finding a place at this prestigious institution gave Alfie hesitation and he was advised to apply to all schools. But Alfie could not open himself up to that rejection again; if he didn't get into LAMDA that was it as far as he was concerned. He got in.
After an intensive year of training, Alfie kept the momentum high and began to write "Dropped". Acting was going to be Alfie's way of being the change he wanted to see in the world.
"Dropped" is that mechanism - it is a fiery performance of dogged determination not to be beaten and to shine a light on the injustices that befall so many youngsters at the hands of crooked or corrupted adults, who prey on their vulnerabilities.
MF: How do you cope with hard things?
AC: I remind myself that I'm lucky to be here. Chelsea at least found my heart murmur - they gave me that... and Dad luckily knew the head of the British heart foundation which led to my operation. Having had that all happen to me, I remind myself that everything is always ok in the end. So by keeping fit, staying healthy, being positive and doing positive things, positive things will happen to me. I really believe that.
There are so many out there that have it worse than me and that is a good way for me to re-frame any tough things I experience.
MF: What's your favourite time of year?
AC: Christmas. Everyone is around and this area is really festive. I love selling Christmas trees in the build up to the big day and I've done that for years, opposite the Wolfpack on Lonsdale Road, sipping Guinnesses - it's just a crackling atmosphere. I love being together with everyone, having a drink and all merriment. And I love the productivity of winter, I am really focused.
The story of resilience in the face of rejection and coming to terms with the harsh reality of the footballing world owing him nothing, followed by singular determination to follow his calling on-stage and on-screen, is what heartens me. Every setback is a set-up for a comeback, but to have this lesson so brutally taught to him by snatching his dream away so young, is why Alfie Cain will prevail.
I believe acting will be a mechanism for him to express untold talent in the years to come. He is fondly referred to as "Steve" by close friends, because of his similarity with Steve MacQueen. Let's imagine Alfie can set a new standard for the "King of Cool". He is way too modest to accept that title, but that's partly what makes him so cool in my book.
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