REAL TALK with ZAND Elphinstone

MF: Tell me about your day-to-day
AE: Half of my day is spent helping men live happier lives through coaching and personal development retreats, which I currently fund by doing some environmental consulting for the other half. 

You can find out more on Zand's retreats, at The Balanced Man - a space for men to awaken, heal and grow.

MF: What would you like to do more of?

AE: I want to spend more time outdoors. I want to do more with my hands, building stuff. 
In a year's time, I am hoping to have built a sauna, natural swimming pool and a yoga shala. I luckily have the space and the motivation, but don't yet have the planning nor the skills, haha.

MF: How do you cope with hard things?

AE: My morning practice - it is my superpower. If I miss more than 2-3 days of this in-a-row, I find my resilience diminishes, my connection to self and others feels fragmented and my anxiety levels rise. 

Carving out time in the morning for myself, mediating and practising qigong centres me and I feel robust in the face of daily challenges. 

If time was of no consequence, I would allow an hour for this, but I'm up often at 5:45am to get it done and fitting in more than 20-30mins is unusual. Getting up that early on a regular basis, all the more so at this time of year, feels quite stressful at times.

I have a similar experience with exercise. If my routine is interrupted and I miss more than 3-4 days in a row, it feels like my self-belief and self-esteem are depleted. 

MF: How does exercise help you mentally and physically?

AE: It's like water for my soul. If I've been without it for a short while, I really feel lacking. Exercise really centres me mentally and physically.
I have such a great crew at my crossfit gym and that's a huge part of what I get from the overall experience - camaraderie and fun too. 

I currently feel stronger than I ever have been. My stature and structure feel very solid.
My physical strength underpins a lot of the mental strength and robustness I cultivate through my daily practice. 

Zand wearing the Lavender Flyweight tee 2:0

MF: Is there something you cannot live without?

AE: Coffee! ...booze I find easy to live without. Coffee however, I am happy to hold onto, haha. I love it black, so no sugar nor milk. 

MF: What is your favourite day of the year?

AE: My favourite period is undoubtedly the 2-or-so-weeks at Christmas. It is the only time of year when I can switch off from anything and everything work-related, allowing me to focus more on my family and even spend some time for myself, reading.

MF: Is there anything you'd like to get off your chest?

AE: I’m becoming more aware of how much my ego drives my behaviour. I see that as a natural part of being human, and I notice the tension it creates with the work I do—particularly when I’m running retreats. I may be inviting people to be challenged and go deeper, while part of me is simultaneously concerned with how I’m being received or whether people are enjoying themselves. Seeing this more clearly has been humbling, and I also recognise that my ego has played a role in enabling me to step forward and create what I have.